Coffee Date: Trying to find that perfect plan

I don't know about y'all but the unknown terrifies me. I have hopes and dreams and want to know if some things are going to happen right now. One thing I have been struggling with my whole life is relinquishing control of my life plan and allowing the perfect plan that God has to unfold in His time. I pray constantly that I put more trust in Him and know that His plan is more perfect than anything I could imagine.

My prayer recently has turned more towards a piece of scripture I have known almost my whole life. One that all young girls hear and figure it only has to do with love and relationships. I have quickly learned that it can be applied in almost all aspects of life.

I am constantly praying that God guards my heart from my own wants and desires. Right now the one that is always in the back of my mind is for us to own our home. I love HGTV and watch it all the time (I really should probably block it on our TV). I love the idea of Pat and I owning our own home and then renovating it to our dream home. I love that idea so much that I have even looked up homes for sale in our desired neighborhoods. This is not realistic in any shape or form. We are not in the right place for it financially, and our lives could take a drastic change anywhere next month to this time next year. As we wait to hear about whether or not Pat is going to med school this year or next, it is not realistic for me to even think about us owning a home. I have been praying constantly that the Lord removes this desire from me until he deems it the right time for us to own our own home. Y'all, this is really really hard for me. Owning our own home means so many different things to me- a place we can call our own, a place we can start a family, a place that we can make our own and not have to call and ask permission to do... 

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Along with wanting a house to call our own, I just want to know if Pat will be going to medical school or not. My selfish side wants him to get a job so that we can have a more steady income and life style. I get so mad at myself for wanting that because I know his dream is to go to medical school. It is a constant prayer of mine for the Lord to show us exactly which direction he wants us to go in. I'm not really patient and I am having the hardest time waiting to find out what is going on.

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I have felt really overwhelmed with all of the uncertainty in our lives. I know there will always be uncertainty in our lives, but I personally feel like all of these things are major things that would turn our life one way or the other. I am praying to learn how to "be still" and let the Lord do His work in His time. I pray that I can find peace in knowing that He will never do anything to harm me, but to mold me into a better image of Himself.

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It's rough seeing that my heart is still very "Me" centered. I pray that I learn to put others before me more. I need to learn how to serve others better. 

Short version: I am praying to guard my heart from things that are just blocking me from putting all of my trust in the Lord and to trust in His perfect plan for my life. I also pray that I learn to become a better servant to those who are in need.

What's on your heart today?

I am linking up with Rachel at Oh Simple Thoughts for her Coffee Date today. Won't you join?

Link Up!